Raising the bra for Nobel thinkers

by Kate Sidley on Oct 17th, 2011

You will know by now that the Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer has been awarded the 2011 Nobel Prize for Literature.

I found myself intrigued, in the run-up to the announcement, by the pre-Nobel odds on various winners. At some point last week, the Syrian poet Adonis was the favourite at 4/1, and Tranströmer’s odds were at 9/2 at the UK betting site Ladbrokes. (Where, incidentally, in addition to predicting the fates of obscure poets, you can bet on virtual greyhounds, darts, and who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing. Should you so wish).

It’s so seldom that a poet is at the top of anything (earnings, piles of books on the bedside table, bestseller lists) that it was rather intriguing. By way of comparison, at the time of this little diversion, Haruki Murakami was at 16/1, and illustrious authors such as AS Byatt (33/1), Ian McEwan (40/1) and Salman Rushdie (40/1) were languishing in the outer reaches of probability. You could get a whopping 100/1 on Bob Dylan.

Speculators and commentators weighed in with their opinions. There were many who believed that, following the Arab Spring, this was a good year for an Arab writer. They wondered whether it was “poetry’s year”. They argued it was time for a woman to win. They expressed astonishment or outrage at the long odds on Joyce Carol Oates, or whomever their personal favourite might be. They considered the political implications, saying things like: “It’s been less than a decade since the last Hungarian won.” and “We’re way overdue for a black African writer.” and (a personal favourite) “I’m not a Kadare specialist, but wonder whether his complicated relationship with dissidence might be a little awkward.” They drew up lists of past winners who were alcoholics, Nazi sympathisers, or just not very good writers. It was all rather enjoyable.

But not everyone is so concerned about the Nobel. Those in the know look forward to the Ig Nobel Prize for Literature, which is announced at the end of September. The Ig Nobel Prizes honour scientific studies that “first make people laugh, and then make them think”. The prizes are intended to celebrate the unusual and spur public interest in science, medicine and technology.

The 2011 winner in the literature category is John Perry of Stanford University for his Theory of Structured Procrastination, which argues that the procrastinator can be motivated to do difficult, timely and important tasks, as long as these tasks are a way of not doing something more important. Structured procrastination means organising the tasks one has to do in a way that takes advantage of this fact.

You really should hop onto the Ig Nobel website (www.ignobel.com), where you can procrastinate marvellously for quite some time, admiring the eccentricities of the scientific community. Actual Nobel Prize winners (looking entirely bemused) hand over the prizes.

The highlight, for me, was 2009 Ig Nobel Public Health Prize winner Dr Elena Bodnar demonstrating her invention – a brassiere that, in an emergency, can be converted into a pair of gas masks. The good doctor was assisted by real Nobel laureates Wolfgang Ketterle, Orhan Pamuk, and Paul Krugman – all wearing the masks, which are, basically, half a bra held in place with a strap. So many questions arise. What if you are a delicate A cup, but have a large nose? Who would you give the spare cup to? Would you rather suffocate with your dignity intact or wear half a bra on your face? These sorts of important questions tax great scientific minds. And poets too, perhaps.

Kate Sidley is the Sunday Times Books Columnist